As we begin to prepare for the holiday season, our busy lives will be kicked up a notch and we?ll pour ourselves into traditions like creating hearty turkey dinners with all the trimmings, turning our cozy homes into holiday wonderlands, and above all gathering with family and loved ones to celebrate this special time of year.?
With so much excitement and happiness swirling about, it can be difficult to imagine that while you and your teenager spend a Saturday lunching and shopping for gifts together, a girl in her class might still be in bed sleeping at 3 p.m. because she doesn?t have any desire to get up and face the day.
Sadly, according to statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, this girl represents nearly one in five teenagers that struggle with teenage depression.? It is quite common for young adults to experience stress, anger, confusion, and depression from situations occurring in their friendships, families, schools, or communities.
The most common symptoms of teenage stress are irritability, headache, nausea, fatigue, increased heart rate and a pessimistic outlook. Sociologists blame the increase in teenage stress on high divorce rates (nearly 10 percent of families with children under 18 compared to 7.5 percent 20 years ago) and lack of community involvement. There is also the Internet with its bombardment of information and temptations.
Our Gansett Moms? Council has faced these serious issues with some of our own teens, so we reached out to some local professionals who work with depressed teens on a regular basis for their insight and suggestions.
Narragansett resident Leigh A. Reposa, LCSW, program manager for the RI Youth Suicide Prevention Program at Rhode Island Student Assistance Services, and Jessica Wolke, LICSW, Rhode Island Student Assistance Services and Student Assistance Counselor at North Kingstown High School, are both heavily involved with local youth and are experienced in dealing with the rising challenge of teen depression and the horrific consequences it has on their lives and that of their families.??
Often families face either shame or the angst of just not knowing how to help their teen cope when depression strikes. Reposa and Wolke believe in open communication and sharing as much information about this topic as possible, so the two collaborated during a recent interview in hopes of helping families have a better understanding of what teens today are facing.?
Cheryl:?Today's teens have a lot on their plates. ?They are overwhelmed with day-to-day circumstances such as keeping up with schoolwork, sports, finding time for friends and wanting to be accepted by their peers. It seems like more and more young adults are facing bouts of depression. How do we as parents and adults in the community know that it's more than just the pressure of school?
Reposa:? As parents and care takers you know your child best. If you notice things like:
significant mood changes (sad and withdrawn, low energy, etc for more than a week to two weeks), isolating behavior, your child starts to lose interest in regular activities, they are over sleeping, under sleeping, have changes in appetite, or if you know or hear about your child using substances, these are all warning signs and should be taken seriously.
Often times it?s easy to dismiss concerns as normal adolescent development, but if a behavior is not normal for your child or continues for more than a couple of weeks, it?s time to get your child connected to someone who can help.?
Cheryl: What are some effective strategies for helping teens who are just not handling "life" well and seem to really be struggling??
Reposa: Take your child?s concerns seriously. Acknowledge how they are feeling and validate, validate, validate. I tell parents to try not to use ?bumper sticker advice.? If you say things like ?oh it?s just a phase, you?ll get through it? to the child, even if it?s not the intent, this can be interpreted as not validating the emotional pain the child might be feeling. It closes down any opportunity for discussion about what is causing these intense feelings.
Trust your gut. ?Let your child know you are concerned about them and ask them what?s going on.? The child might be fine and just having a bad couple days. The message you are giving your child is that you are paying attention, and that they matter.? Be supportive which could mean anything from listening without interrupting (which can be hard but practice) to connecting your child with counseling services in your community. ?
Sometimes having an unrelated outside person to talk to can be helpful for a child. ?A counselor can help validate what the child is going through and can act as a non judgmental member of the child?s helping team.?
Cheryl:?Are kids more apt to keep these difficult feelings to themselves or share with their friends??
Reposa:? It depends on the child, but in my experience, kids who feel that they have close friends they can confide in, will share with them first. It might be sharing through text conversations, Facebook messaging or posting, through tweets, or on their Tumblr pages.
If a child does not feel connected with their peers, they might share how they are feeling with a sibling, or a family member they feel they can trust who will not judge them.?
Cheryl: If they do share with their friends, if it seems to be a situation that could be very unhealthy, should the friends speak up and share with their parents or perhaps a counselor??
Reposa:? Yes! Yes! Yes! Some secrets must be shared. A friend should tell an adult as soon as possible if they are concerned about a friend who might be depressed or suicidal. If the friend shares their feelings in a text or on social media, the friend should show the text to the adult right away.
Friends should take all signs seriously. The sooner a friend is connected with someone that can help, the sooner the friend will feel better and have support to get them through what is causing the emotional pain.?
Cheryl: What can parents try and do to help their teens who seem to be battling depression??
Wolke:? Parents may need help themselves, which could mean educating themselves about depression or accessing their own support.? It?s also important that parents find out what resources are available in the community to help their child. By getting help parents are modeling help seeking behavior for their child, which also helps reduce stigma around what their child is going through.
It?s important that the more parents know about depression and other mood disorders the more they know about the treatments available to help support their child so that they can start to feel better. It?s okay to talk about depression and other mental health issues.?
Cheryl: Where can parents turn for help??
Reposa: In an emergency: If an attempt has been made call 911 or get to a local emergency room right away.
In the School: Student Assistance Counselor, School Psychologist, School Nurse, School Social Worker, Guidance Counselor, School Administrators?
In the community: Community mental health provider, pediatrician or family physician can often make a referral?
Cheryl: Where can teens turn for help??
Reposa: School Student Assistance Counselor, School Psychologist, School Nurse, School Social Worker, Guidance Counselor, School Administrators?
Here are some warning signs that families should be aware of that might indicate suicide is on their teen's mind.?
- Threatening to kill themselves
- Stockpiling pills or obtaining access to means
- Talking to writing about death and recent preoccupation with death
- Giving away prized possessions
- Feeling hopeless
- Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger
- Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities
- Feeling trapped-like there?s no way out
- Increasing drug and alcohol use
- Withdrawing from friends and family
- Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
- Experiencing dramatic mood changes
- Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life?
Cheryl: Are certain teens at a higher risk than others?
Reposa: Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens both in Rhode Island and Nationally. Having said that here are some things to consider if you are worried your teen might be at higher risk for:?
- Recent significant loss: breakup, family member passing away, parent recently incarcerated, loss of health, family member being deployed, parents divorcing
- Bullying or victimization
- Single or Multiple stressors
- History of sexual/physical abuse
- History of neglect
- History of trauma exposure/ongoing witness to violence
- History of suicide in family
- Substance use and abuse
- Family history of mood disorders, or chronic mental health issues?
Cheryl: If there was one thing that you would want parents to know about teen depression and contemplation of suicide what would that be??
Reposa:? Take all signs seriously! (And trust your gut? I know that was two, sorry.)?
Wolke and Reposa acknowledged that kids often times don?t want to talk about their feelings and offer a helpful strategy by using a scale:?
For example: ?On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it today?? (Qualify your scale.)
One might mean it?s a great day, and a 10 might mean the child is in crisis. Often times if the child states a 5 or a 6, this can open up a conversation about what that number means to them in that moment.
Another strategy is the ?How are you feeling today?? posters or magnets. This allows your teen or child to merely point to the facial expression that is closest to how they are feeling.
I often validate with teens that they might wake up pointing to the ?Angry? face on the poster and by the afternoon they feel like pointing to the ?Happy? face and at night they might point to another face and that?s okay!
?It?s when they point to the same distressed faces for days at a time that we are concerned and want to start making a plan to get the child connected to additional supports either clinical or otherwise,? Reposa said.?
The two also recommend the following three things parents can do to keep their home safe:
- Limit medications in the home
- Talk to your child constantly both when things are going well and when they are having difficulties
- Lock up firearms
One last thought and statistic to consider, though, that certainly proves your awareness can help is that eighty percent of teens who commit suicide try to seek help from someone shortly before committing the act, so staying in tune to your teen?s behaviors and feelings is extremely important.
?Adolescent substance abuse is not the social norm and the child could be in the early stages of addiction. ?Intervening and getting your child recovery supports early is critical,? Wolke said.
As we enter the holiday season this year, it?s the perfect time to put the focus on our young adult family members and keep the lines of communication open.? Staying connected as a family takes work, but once your kids see how much you are interested in their daily lives, they will be more apt to reach out to you in times of trouble because they know you have a genuine interest in their well being.?
Websites such as kidshealth.org and teendepression.org are helpful resources for both parents and teens.?
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7: 1-800-273-TALK.? More helpful information is available at Suicide Proof Your Home: www.suicideproof.org
http://suicideproof.org/suicide-proof.html.
If you have some thoughts you'd like to share on this very important matter of teen depression, please share them here in the comments or you can e-mail me at CB091987@aol.com or our editor Stephen.Greenwell@patch.com.
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Source: http://narragansett.patch.com/articles/helping-teens-cope-with-depression
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